Time for another OAR prompt: Someone else in the adoption constellation- what do you want to say to them on Fathers Day? Open Adoption Bloggers
Today it's for Fathers Day.
Well, I want to write to my dad. He's not a part of the 'open adoption' community per se, but he's mine.
You were not there when I was a child- mom didn't know you then, so that doesn't surprise me.
You were there when I was a preteen- and lacked all common sense.
You were there when I was a teenager- in other words a total shithead.
You were there the day I left for University.
You were there when I called from school whining because I was cold.
You were there the day I called home and said I wasn't going back to University.
And all of that surprised me then. It doesn't surprise me any more. I have learned to expect that you will be there.
You were there the day I told you I was moving to Winnipeg. You sat and listened while I cried and explained that I needed to go spend time with my biological father- needed to understand him. You didn't say anything. You didn't say I couldn't (or shouldn't) go. You didn't chastise me for being 'stupid' or leaving school a month before the school year ended.
You were there the day I called home and said I'd met 'the one'. The day I brought him and my son home.
You were there the day I got married.
You were there the night I called home to tell you and mom about my pregnancy with Brat, and then again with Monster.
You were there through it all.
You are the kind of father I needed. The kind of father I married in D. The kind of father I hope I am raising my son to be.
I love you very much, and all the times I was a shit as a teenager and pulled the "You're not my REAL dad- you can't tell me what to do!" bullshit still haunt me. But you don't want my apologies for those times- you say, "I wasn't a perfect father either sweetheart." But you were. Because you were there.