Thursday, February 23, 2012

Guilt Can: a) Wreck My Happiness or b) Kiss My Ass

How many different emotions are there?

Happiness, sadness, love, hate, joy, hurt, pride, guilt, forgiveness, resentment.

Wait, why did guilt make my list?

I don't believe in "guilt". I understand it is there, and I understand that some people feel it keenly. I refuse guilt in my life. I try my hardest every day and I refuse to be 'guilted' or manipulated by anyone -my kids, my in- laws, my husband, or my friends. Notice my mother and her family didn't make the list. They don't believe in guilt either. I guess for some families/ people, it's a non-issue.

I simply refuse to live my life feeling guilty for something in that can't be undone. I apologize when necessary, and I move on from there. I do not hold grudges. I do not bring up the past over and over (okay, well, I TRY not to do that). That is something I learned from my momma.

When I was a child, trying to manipulate my momma to my advantage, she would say, "Pack your bags, we're going on a guilt trip!" And that helped me recognize that looking back and 'reheating' serves no one a tasty dish.

You need to learn that choices cannot be 'unmade' so feeling guilty does nothing except hurt you.

I submit that we ALL stop the guilt.

 "Guilt is anger directed at ourselves - at what we did or did not do. Resentment is anger directed at others - at what they did or did not do." -Peter McWilliams

Neither guilt (nor resentment) is a productive emotion. Move on and get over it- because allowing someone else to 'guilt' you does nothing for them (except encourage the belief that they should hold onto their resentment of you).

So, if I did something which hurt you, I am sorry. I regret that you've been hurt by me, or my actions. But I won't be eaten up by that knowledge. In fact, I'm over it. You should get over it too. Not for me, but for yourself.

If you are going to feel guilty for something- don't do it! If you already did something, don't feel guilty for it- learn from it.

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